Today, I Choose...
This was not a planned post. Yesterday, I felt so defeated. The job I really wanted, I thought I was well qualified for, and the one that was for me, I got denied for. I didn't even get called for an interview. This has happened to me over one hundred times (I'm exaggerating) in the past almost 4 years. But this one really hurt. For some reason this time, I felt this was a personal attack against me, even though I know the hiring officials do not know me. It hurt so bad. Maybe because I am also going through a divorce. All of that combined, I felt like the world is rejecting me.
It wasn't until after two straw-ber-itas and a text from a really good friend of mine made me feel better. She said, "... I am so proud of you and truly admire your strength and determination despite all the obstacles you have been facing. You are an amazing mother, woman and friend...You deserve all the greatness that is coming your way and believe me it's coming." The waterworks. She didn't even know I had a horrible day, but this made me feel so good.
I am not sure what God has in store for me, I sometimes question His plan. However, something big HAS to be in store for me because I am going through a personal hell to get there. Maybe I got denied for that job because God knew my heart and my passion. He knows I love designing. So He is probably saying, "My child, you know you don't want to be in a sea cubicles building someone else's dream. Please be patient"
I use to find myself stalking the my favorite designers (who I will talk about tomorrow) and I wondered "Wow, how did they do that? Am I going to get there one day? Am I ever going to be as talented as they are?" But I realized, you just never know what a person went through to get to their dream...tears, heartache, failures, flops, risks, set backs, mistakes, and fears. But I know all of the designers I stalk/admire had somethings in common...passion, perseverance, and determination.
So today, despite everything that I have been through these past several months, I choose happiness, love, positivity, and JOY!
PS. Thank you Mom, Auntie, Nikia, and Jas!